I cannot believe it has been six months since I last posted anything. My life feels like it has been moving at warp speed lately since finding out my husband and I are expecting our first child.
I think I need to start at the very beginning of my journey with pregnancy in order to share with everyone how it has changed my practice and life so far.
I found out I was pregnant the day after Thanksgiving. I had been feeling so tired the entire week. Not to gross anyone out with the details of my cycle... but.... I am always irregular. Like, never would know when Aunt Flow was coming to town. So the fact that I was like two weeks late didn't phase me the slightest. (Once, I went 90 days so 14 seemed like nothing!) However, my husband and I decided to stop trying to not get pregnant. I think I had convinced myself that children were not going to be in our future without some sort of intervention.
Just to be on the safe side though, I figured I should take a pregnancy test once a month, you know, just in case something crazy happened. So I remember having this thought while I was teaching my Friday morning classes... "could I be pregnant? No..... better go pee on a stick.
On my way home, I stopped at Walgreens and bought the cheapest pregnancy test I could find because honestly this wasn't happening... why spend $20 when I could spend $8? Without saying anything to John, I went upstairs to do the deed. I waited the five minutes, looked at the stick and started laughing out loud when I saw what couldn't possibly be a positive test result.
Then I started sweating. And crying. And sweating some more. I went downstairs, held up the stick and told/asked John... I think I'm pregnant? He later goes on to report that I was convinced it wasn't true because it was a generic test. As I look down at my 31 week belly and find this hilarious. Below is a picture of me with my mom at 28 weeks. Check out that belly!
Being a pregnant while teaching has absolutely been a humbling experience. I am finding limitations with my body physically and have learned to accept those limitations and modifications. For example, I have been experiencing the 'carpal tunnel' wrist issue that seems to happen to a lot of pregnant women. This experience has opened my eyes to what it feels like when people tell me it hurts them to be in downward facing dog or table pose. Now, I give myself permission to come to child pose all the time! In fact just giving myself permission to slow down and take breaks has been a huge challenge and practice in acceptance. I was mulching some flower beds and kept getting out of breath and tired. So I stopped and drank some water and sat on a bench for ten minutes. After I rested I was able to start again. What if I didn't rest though? I might have over done it and been too tired to go out to dinner later! Stop, rest, and breathe! It is okay to stop!
The following is a short 10-15 minute practice I use when I am feeling unbalanced and unconfident. Usually by then end I am telling myself "I got this!" and I feel more energized and confident in my abilities to birth and become a mother. I love ending my savasana with legs up the wall. I usually stay in savasana for about 5 minutes if I can. Legs up the wall is fantastic to practice especially if you are starting to experience any swelling in your ankles!
Peace to all the mamas out there or mamaste!